How to give a good dicking - The Ultimate Guide to Fucking #1

We’ve seen before how to make women cum with our tongues, fingers, or a combination of both, but let’s be honest : we all want that to happen when fucking. There’s something special to having a woman cum on your dick.

I’m gonna write a series of posts about it, detailing tips by position, but to start things off, I wanna give you some general tips that’ll work in any position.

Before penetration

Before even starting, there’s a few things you need to remember.

The Golden Rule

The most important thing to have in mind is simple : if you want to make her cum when fucking, you need to make her cum before (with oral or fingering or a toy).

Or at the very least get her very close.

Why ? Because the clit is the main source of pleasure for women. The clit being a complex organ with internal structures that kinda wrap around the vagina wall (as you know if you’ve read The Google Maps of Lady Parts), it does NOT mean they can’t come from penetration (actually it’s a common myth we’ll talk about just after).

But it DOES mean it’s harder : penetration does not stimulate the clit in the same way (the most sensitive part being the clit glans, which is outside), so it’s not as easy to make women cum like that.

And it DOES mean they usually need clitoral stimulation to cum. It needs to be part of the menu.

How much and how exactly depends on women, but that doesn’t help us much. So I live by a very simple golden rule : always make her cum before penetration.

The reasoning behind this is simple :

• either she won’t cum from penetration, but she came before anyway, so it’s not that frustrating for her

• or she will, and in that case she got 2 orgasms instead of one, and you just made your way in her top lovers right away.

So it’s a win-win.

Sometimes, you won’t make her cum before penetration :

• because you couldn’t find what worked (maybe read the Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus or the Ultimate Guide to Fingering) ;

• because external factors make it harder for her (stress, mental health, being tired, etc.)

• because she can’t take it anymore and begs for your dick right away

In any case, pleasuring her before will make an orgasm more likely when fucking. So it’s always a good thing.

Let go of your false beliefs

I see two kinds of beliefs that could hinder your ability to make her cum with your dick :

1. The old school : you either think women’s pleasure is not important, or you don’t know it’s mainly centered in the clit. Please update your operating system to a 21st century version. It’s been a while we know penetration is not the be all end all of women’s pleasure, far from it.
   
   And also, you know, don’t be an asshole.
   
   Only 18.4% of women report that penetration alone is sufficient for orgasming every single time. So for more than 80%, it’s not enough. And in the same study, we learn that when clitoral stimulation is added, more women report cumming more frequently, and also 39% of women agree that adding clitoral stimulation made their orgasms better.
   
   So touch her clit for better and more frequent orgasms. Up your game, guys.
   

2. The new school : from that same number, some people hastily conclude that women just usually don’t come from penetration. This is actually the opposite.
   
   In the same study, only 36.6% of women reported that clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm.
   
   The remaining 36% said it was not necessary, but felt better.
   
   Which means most women can actually come from penetration, but also that most would prefer the addition of clitoral stimulation. So don’t give up just because you read some punchy instagram post saying most women don’t cum from penetration.
   
   They often don’t, but not because they physiologically can’t, but because most men just don’t know how to do it.

(these numbers are sourced from this study, which I discovered in this post on

Joe Duncan

The Science of Sex

Substack :) )

Make sure it’s really wet

Penetration can be uncomfortable or even painful if her pussy is not wet enough. So you gotta make sure when you go in, it’s really wet.

The best is of course if she came so hard before she’s dripping wet. It ticks all boxes.

But it might not always be the case. In that case, feel free to add lube. I’ll write a lube guide at some point, but to be short, I think silicone-based lube is the best : it’s more slippery, lasts longer, and is compatible with all condoms.

Speaking of condoms, they’re usually lubricated so it can help a bit, but it might not be enough. Especially because if it gets dry with all that friction, you won’t feel it as much or even at all. So you don’t have as much feedback as when you go raw. So make sure it’s slippery.

To start things off

Now, you’re going in. It’s a very important moment, because it’s probably the point where it’s the easiest to make a mistake. Especially if it’s the first time with a woman, and you don’t know her body well.